As many of you know I just released my new book entitled, ”I’m Not That Woman…A Fatherless Daughter’s Journey to Being. I have written several other books, but never one where I opened up and shared the secret chambers of my heart. In this book I shared parts of myself that, until now, I never had the courage to share with anyone, yet alone to write it in a book. To say that I was afraid would be an understatement.
It takes courage to let others see parts of your life that you’ve kept locked away and to risk being ridiculed, judged or even criticized for the things that you reveal. But this was something that I had to do and I couldn’t say “no” even if I wanted to. Because it was a definite assignment and mandate on my life in this season.
I knew that this book would change the lives of those who read it, yet I would have rather did something different. After some real Resistance and receiving lots of encouragement from my husband, my coach and a few friends, I finally said “yes’ and wrote the book.
I thought I would feel better and feel a sense of accomplishment. And I did for a little while. But on the day I announced that the book was being released, a cloud of fear came over me and shook me to the core. I became ill and gripped with a sudden pain in my stomach. Out of no where I heard myself say, “it’s not good enough.” Then I repeated this statement to my husband and to one of my daughters who had read the manuscript. I was looking for some kind of reassurance. They both assured me that it was a good book, but I still wasn’t feeling any better.
Where did this uncertainty and self doubt come from and who was in my head feeding me all of these negative thoughts? I’m the Love Lifestyle Coach, I don’t do self doubt any more. Right? Wrong! Because I was in complete overwhelm. What was I afraid of?
So I did what I do best: begin to pray and meditate. Then I waited on an answer. The answer I received came in the form of a question. “Do you trust me?”, was what I heard deep within me. I said “yes” to the Voice. That Distinctive Voice that I knew was God speaking to me. As I continued to listen further I heard, “It Is Enough And So Are You.” Then there was complete silence. Nothing else. I waited for more and none came.
What I learned from that beautiful encounter is that anytime we embark upon a new journey, one that we’ve never traveled before, we will experience some fear. Fear of the unknown and fear of wanting to know how it will all turn out. The negative thoughts were coming from old data that was previously programmed and stored in my subconscious and it was trying to take on life again. For years I would struggle with not feeling good enough and that old belief was trying to rise up in me once again. It was a controlling belief that held my life hostage for years and I was not going to allow it to resurface.
Because of the knowledge and skills that I’ve acquired through my years of personal and spiritual growth training, I was able to identify completely what was happening. I also knew that these thoughts did not originate from my true authentic self. It was that old false self, the one who walked around with a case of mistaken identity. So I reminded myself that ”I’m Not That Woman!”
I remembered who I was again and stepped back into my power. The fear left and I began to rejoice. Then it dawned on me that I had just completed “Lesson One” from my book. Wow, God really does have a sense of humor.
Why am I sharing this with you today? Because many of you are sitting on ideas, messages, books, inventions, businesses and gifts that you have allowed yourself to believe that it is not enough. Today, I want to encourage you to push beyond your fears and do it anyway. Will you be criticized? Perhaps you will, but do it anyway. I can promise you that the reward you will receive from stepping out of your fears into your power will make it worth the effort. And think about all the other people who will benefit because you dared to say “yes I am enough.”
What is it that you’ve been afraid to do? I want to hear from you. Release your fear and share it below. Once you have declared it, you now have to do it. Now that you know, you can’t pretend that you don’t. Let me hear from you.
Remember, live authentically, laugh everyday and embrace love as a lifestyle.
