I wanted so much for him to love me...my ex-husband, that's who. I thought he would love me and protect me forever. But he broke my heart into little pieces and I wondered if I would ever heal.
Does that story sound familiar? I think we've all experienced heart break whether we are a fatherless daughter or not. But for most of us fatherless daughters, our heart breaks runs deeper because it comes from a deeper space within us. It's a familiar space. A space that we've held waiting for daddy to someday come and tell us how much he loves us, how much he adores us and how special we really are to him. But for most of us that day will never come and we've tried hard as we could to get that longing and desperate need met through the men we chose to love.
And when that doesn't happen, we are left in a dark, desolate place of despair. "Will I ever find true love?"...becomes our daily mantra. Then for many of us, we thrust ourselves in our careers. We become driven, independent super women. Thinking that we can somehow we can fill that empty space with our houses, cars, designer clothes and bank accounts. Yet, we end up in lots of debt, many of us living above our means and stressed out. Because the feeling of stress and chaos is normal to our subconscious mind, because we haven't done the necessary work to clear those sabotaging thoughts that creates invisible barriers around out lives.
Then one day your beloved walks into your life. "This is it," you tell yourself. It's a romance that should be written in a novel. But he soon does something that sends you into a tail spin. "Here we go again," you say to yourself. But is it really what you think?
Because as a fatherless daughter, you are never satisfied. It doesn't matter who it is, if he's not perfect, it will not work. He can do ten things right and one thing wrong and you are ready to jump ship. Because we fatherless daughters can never be satisfied. Ha, ha, I can hear my ex-husband saying the very same words to me. At the time, I thought he was the crazy one when he would say, "I can never please you, you're always complaining about something." Whew! And when I heard my children say similar things such as "Mom, what did I do now?", I knew I needed to change.
It wasn't until I began to understand that my fatherless daughter syndrome was destroying my life and realize that if I didn't get a handle on it, I was going to be lonely, broke and unhappy for a long time, that I began to change.
As you read this story, does any of this resonate within you? Many of us think that our failures are our inability to sustain relationships, handle money, loose weight or something else, but if we are to look a little closer, we will see that it's really something deeper!!
Let us hear from you, what did you think about this article?
I have been searching lately as to why I need to be desired by men. I thought it was just a lack of self-control when really it was insecurity. I am a married woman but sometimes he isn't enough. I am never satisfied with anything and I focus on what need to be fixed. It even interferes with how I perceive God. He is my father but I can not see, touch, hear, smell him so I think in my mind he is just as absent as my physical father. I really enjoyed reading. It helped me to understand where I am. I am very much open to more.
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