Will The Real Woman Please Stand Up!

I want to talk to real women today. Women who understand hot-flashes, cottage cheese thighs, running out of tampons, extra support bras and bad hair days.  As you know, we don't all wake up in the morning looking like we just stepped out of a magazine. Some of us wake up looking like we are wearing a magazine.

While this maybe comical, it is true. It's important that you stop comparing yourself to others, to who you think look better, dress better and appear to have more than you do. And surely don't compare yourself to hollywood's celebrities that are seen on television and in the magazines. Lots of money is spent for them to look that way. Stop measuring your worth and value by whether your thighs are firm or flabby.  

If you had only one day to live, would you worry about your flabby thighs or would you want to spend that day loving your family and doing some heartfelt activity? 

Your worth and value are always based on who God says you are. It doesn't matter if you wear a size 2 or a size 24, you are still beautiful and remarkable. 

Yes, we should practice good self care by exercising and feeding our bodies the proper foods. Yes, being healthy should be a priority for  us.  Of course, we want to dress well and make a statement to the world that we have some self pride in our appearance.

But it's really what's going on inside of us that needs much more of our attention. Is there someone you need to forgive? Is there some bad attitude you need to adjust? When we focus more on what's happening within our hearts and make the necessary shifts, real beauty is then revealed.  

Living from within your heart says that are beautiful today and that makes you a "Real Woman!"

Are You a High Maintenance Woman?

I am certain that you’ve heard the term“High Maintenance Woman.”  In most cases it has been talked about in some very negative terms. Most women who are viewed as high maintenance have been frowned upon and made to appear  vain, selfish and self centered.

But I have a different opinion on this issue. I believe the most fascinating women are high maintenance. Think about this for a moment. The most beautiful homes, the most expensive cars are all high maintenance. The BEST things in life are high maintenance. Therefore, I believe it’s okay for you to be considered “high maintenance” as well.

But not in some vain kind of way. When you understand your value and your worth, you will recognize that you deserve to give yourself the needed time, effort and attention to grow and blossom. You are worth the effort.

Often times as women, we put ourselves last and on the back burner. Everyone else receives our attention and time, except us. We are  last to eat dinner, we are last to go to bed at night, we are the last to spend any extra money on ourselves.  

When we organize our lives around everyone one else, we are saying to the Universe that we are NOT worth the effort. That we are not as valuable as everyone else.  In return, this mindset shows up in our  lives as our experiences.

But as we return to our hearts and begin to hold a space  for  true self love, forgiveness and non-judgement, we will start to give ourselves the attention we deserve. When you value something, you attend to it. 

If you had an expensive dress, would throw that dress in the washer? Absolutely not! You would carefully take it to the best cleaners in town to have it cleaned. Why? Because that dress has value to you and it is a high maintenance garment. It requires extra attention, time and effort. And so it is with you.

You are valuable and you are worth the effort, time and attention. Attending to your health, your personal, spiritual expansion and growth is your highest priority.  How many times have you said no to a workshop, program, product or event that you so desperately wanted for yourself? And when you used the funds on for something else or on someone else, such as children, husband, friends, how did it really make you feel deep within? Somewhere in your heart and in your body, you felt that you had cheated yourself. This is  not the action of a woman who knows her own worth and knows her value.

I want to encourage you to commit to putting yourself first by attending to the thing that matter to you the most…YOU!  Taking care of yourself first, loving yourself first, giving to yourself first is the greatest gift you can give to your loved ones. So the next time someone ask if you are high maintenance, you answer with a  resounding “YES I AM!”  I am worth the effort!

Share below  what you are going to do today to start your high maintenance journey. 

Are You Ready to Deal With It?

On the topic of Fatherless Daughters, Dr. Richard Horowitz says it like this, ―"It leaves a hole in their soul that is extremely difficult to fill, and they carry this father hunger into adulthood until it's dealt with."

Have you truly dealt with your fatherless daughter's issues? For years, I didn't realize  I even had any issues with my father being absent from my life. I was ambitious, driven, successful and didn't think I had any ill feelings towards my father. My father had many problems of his own, including being diagnosed as schizophrenia and paranoid.

When I did find my biological father, I was married with one child. He had been institutionalized for many years by then and the man that I finally met, was sick. To say the least, there was not much of a relationship that we were able to form. I simply couldn't connect with a man who was not there mentally. His family was very protective of him and they assumed that I had showed up because I wanted money or something. But little did they know that I merely wanted a dad.

Over the years, I have met numerous of women with fatherless daughter stories. I've also met women who were not even aware that the fatherless daughter's syndrome was playing out in the lives they were currently experiencing.  I literally can talk to a women for approximately five minutes and know that she is a fatherless daughter because the symptoms speak loudly and clearly. 

One thing for sure, the patterns are the same and they don't lie. As Dr. Horowitz said, we will continue to carry this hole in our souls until we deal with it. Studies have proven that a girl who grows up with an absent, unavailable or unattached father, will be impacted on many levels once she reaches adulthood.  Your father's love patterns, whether good or bad, are having a huge impact on your life today. 

Many women are deceived into believing that because they are coping, they have broken through. But coping does not equate to victory. Your life can and will be significantly better, and more liberating when you finally deal with was lies beneath.

Are you a fatherless daughter? It's time that you deal with it!!