As women we tend to base our self worth and value on what we do instead of who we are. I know first hand this to be true. I use to be a pleaser. If I thought someone was upset with me, I would do something really nice for them or I would call them on the phone to talk, just to see if I could tell from their voice if they were upset with me. I always worried whether I did enough of the right things or if I said something the wrong way to cause someone not to like me. I would feel the tension in my stomach rise in a panic, but once I discovered that everything was okay or that I did enough to earn their approval once more, I would feel the tension ease.
I know this sounds crazy coming from The Love Lifestyle Coach, but for years this was how I lived my life. Trying to be everything to everyone and never wanting to disappoint anyone. What a roller coaster ride my life had become? Always trying to gauge the situation to be sure that I did all the right things, that I did nothing wrong or ruffled anyone’s feathers. My belief was, “if I am perfect, they will love me and not leave me.” I needed everyone to like me, to be nice to me, to accept me and more importantly– to love me.
As I began to grow, expand and seek the help of mentors who could show me the source of my insecurities, I was able to make new choices. Awareness is such a powerful thing. It allows the hidden answers to come to light, not to make us feel shame or judge ourselves, but to give us the space for newness of life.
I knew that my life was meant to be more than this roller coaster ride. Somehow, I knew there had to be a better way. I wanted it to be better. And it did get better.
Once the blind spots were revealed by an wonderful mentor/coach, I was able to identify the source of my sabotaging beliefs and thought system. I had my breakthrough. I also learned new ways of being and new ways of showing up in life. All because I was able to grasp hold to the truth of who I was. I didn’t have a behavior issue…I had an identity issue.
I learned that I was loved and lovable merely because I existed. There was nothing to fix, heal, or correct. I was not broken, I was already perfect and I was already enough. I was the only one who needed to realize this. Once I learned how to align myself with who I really was and who I was born to be, my life transformed on so many levels.
In my transformed life, I now recognize that I am a magnificent, fabulous divine expression of pure, unconditional love. I am created this way…God did that! And who am I to disagree with God? The wonderful thing about this realization, is that I also understand that YOU TOO have been given this same meaningful life. Not only do I accept myself, I also accept everyone else. This is where the real magic happens for all of us.
Once we realize that we are all created from the same Source…”LOVE” and that we are all made of the same Source, “LOVE”…the magic begins. We are all connected to the same Source and we are all here for the same function…to love and be loved. I cannot hate you…because hate doesn’t exist in love. I can only love you and show up in that manner. That what love does. It’ cracks your heart wide open to give and receive love.
I am no longer a performance based person. My worth is no longer based on what I do, but in WHO I am. Whew, what a huge relief! I no longer worry about pleasing others. I understand that love is the answer to every question and it is the antidote to fear. That being said…love is always more than enough. That makes me enough as well. And so it is with all of us.
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