You Were Already Enough

As women we tend to base our worth on what we do instead of who we are. I know this first hand. I use to be a pleaser. If I thought someone was upset with me, I would do something nice for them or I would call them on the phone to talk just to see if I could tell from their voice tone if something wrong.

I worried about whether I did enough of the right things or if I said something the wrong way. I could feel the tension in my stomach, but once I found out everything was okay or I did enough to earn their attention once more, I could feel the tension ease.

What a roller coaster ride my life had become?  Always trying to gauge the situation to be sure that I did the right things, that I didn’t do anything wrong or didn’t ruffled anyone’s feathers. I needed everyone to like me, to be nice to me, to accept me and to love me.   Then one day I realized that the very thing  I was looking to someone else to do for me, had already been done for me.

God loved me from the very beginning. I didn’t need to earn this love or work for it, it was mine because it was the stuff that created me. Love is who I am. It’s the stuff I am made from.  God accepted me, even with all of my flaws and imperfections. I never have to check to see if what I did was  acceptable or if I was lovable. The mere fact that I exist was all that was required.  I call this the “Papilio Effect”…your defining moment is when you are willing to let go of who you are not, step into your most powerful space and become who you were born to be.”  Love is who I am and I realized that who I am is really enough.

I am no longer a performance based person; my worth is no longer based on what I do, but on WHO I am. And so it is with you.

Oriah Mountain Dreamer says “Who you really are is enough.”

Moving into such total acceptance does not mean that we stop growing. When we can accept who we are now, we open the doors to our own inspiration to be even more! You are complete in Love!!

Live Authentically, Laugh Everyday and Embrace Love as a Lifestyle.

Let us hear your “I’m Enough Story” Below…please share with us!

What Would You Change?

If you could change one thing in your life right now-what would you change? What is the one area of your life you would choose, right now, to change?


Leave your answer below!!

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I Didn't Believe It Was Good Enough

As many of you know I just released my new book entitled,  ”I’m Not That Woman…A Fatherless Daughter’s Journey to Being. I have written several other books, but never one where I opened up and shared the secret chambers of my heart. In this book I shared parts of myself that, until now, I never had the courage to share with anyone, yet alone to write it in a book. To say that I was afraid would be an understatement.

 It takes courage to let others see parts of your life that you’ve kept locked away and to risk being ridiculed, judged or even criticized for the things that you reveal. But this was something that I had to do and I couldn’t say “no” even if I wanted to. Because it was a definite assignment and mandate on my life in this season.

 I knew that this book would change the lives of those who read it, yet I would have rather did something different. After some real Resistance and receiving lots of encouragement from my husband, my coach and a few friends, I finally said “yes’ and wrote the book.

I thought I would feel better and feel a sense of accomplishment. And I did for a little while.  But on the day I announced that the book was being released, a cloud of fear came over me and shook me to the core. I became ill and gripped with a sudden pain in my stomach. Out of no where I heard myself say, “it’s not good enough.”  Then I repeated this statement to my husband and to one of my daughters who had read the manuscript. I was looking for some kind of reassurance. They both assured me that it was a good book, but I still wasn’t feeling any better.

Where did this uncertainty  and self doubt come from and who was in my head feeding me all of these negative thoughts? I’m the Love Lifestyle Coach, I don’t do self doubt any more. Right?  Wrong! Because  I was in complete overwhelm. What was I  afraid of?

So I did what I do best: begin to pray and meditate.  Then I waited on an answer. The answer I received came in the form of a question. “Do you trust me?”, was what I heard deep within me. I said “yes” to the Voice. That Distinctive Voice that I knew was God speaking to me. As I continued to listen further I heard, “It Is Enough And So Are You.”  Then  there was complete silence. Nothing else. I waited for more and none came.

What I learned from that beautiful encounter is that anytime we embark upon a new journey, one that we’ve never traveled before, we will experience some fear.  Fear of the unknown and fear of wanting to know how it will all turn out. The negative thoughts were coming from old data that was previously programmed and stored in my subconscious and  it was trying to take on life again.  For years I would struggle with not feeling good enough and that old belief  was trying to rise up in me once again.  It was a controlling belief that held my life hostage for years and I was not going to allow it to resurface.

Because of the  knowledge and skills that I’ve acquired through my years of personal and spiritual growth training, I was able to identify completely what was happening.  I also knew that these thoughts did not originate from my true authentic self. It was that old false self, the one who walked around with a case of mistaken identity. So I reminded myself that  ”I’m Not That Woman!”

I remembered who I was again and stepped back into my power. The fear left and I began to rejoice. Then it dawned on me that I had  just completed “Lesson One” from my book. Wow, God really does have a sense of humor.

Why am I sharing this with you today? Because many of you are sitting on ideas, messages, books, inventions, businesses and gifts that you have allowed yourself to believe that it is not enough. Today, I want to encourage you to push beyond your fears and do it anyway. Will you be criticized? Perhaps you will, but do it anyway. I can promise you that the reward  you will receive from stepping out of your fears into your power will make it worth the effort. And think about all the other people who will benefit because you dared to say “yes I am enough.”

What is it that you’ve been afraid to do? I want to hear from you. Release your fear and share it below. Once you have declared it, you now have to do it. Now that you know, you can’t pretend that you don’t. Let me hear from you.

Remember, live authentically, laugh everyday and embrace love as a lifestyle.

What Does Your Story Say?

That's  a photo of my great grandmother. I did not have the honor of knowing her because by the time I was born, she had already transitioned. But my mother has told me many  wonderful stories about her and I have held those stories dear to my heart. 

Many of the stories have influenced my life in many ways and are the reasons why I am who I am today. As I mature in age, I can't help but wonder how the stories that I am currently creating in my life will impact my great grandchildren?

Stories shape and form our lives in ways that we have not yet begun to understand. They can either have positive impacts on the next generation or they can have negative ones. The great thing about this is that you and I get to choose how we want our stories to impact them. Each day that we live our lives, we are creating stories for the next generation. How do you want your story to read?

My great-grandmother's father was a white man and her mother was black who loved each other dearly. She was born and reared in the deep south during a time where bi-racial children we NOT acceptable. Against many odds, including her life being at risk daily, she became a very successful business woman, wife and mother of nine children. While I have never met her, I know her and what I know has given me the courage to stand in the face of giants and not fear. This is the lesson that Laura Taylor's story taught my mother who is a 45 year breast cancer survival and owned and a successful hair salon for over 38 years. This is the lesson that Laura's story will teach my daughters. 

Just like fire, our stories have power. Power to bring protection and warmth to many or the power to destroy lives. The great thing...you and I get to choose which story we want to leave behind.

Remember, Live Authentically, Laugh Everyday, and Embrace Love as a Lifestyle.

Leave us a comment below, we would love to hear from you.

What Does Love Look Like?

Today is the day that millions of people celebrate love!  The retail industry is projecting that they will earn billions of dollars on today as men and women hurry to purchase roses, candy, flowers, jewelry, dinners and all sorts of gifts to bestow upon their beloved. 

Yet, there are millions of women who will feel left out, depressed and cheated because they are not receiving any roses at work, or no one is asking them out to dinner. These are the women who will feel that there's something wrong with them because they are not apart of the hoopla.

I can relate to this painful feeling, because when I was a divorce mother of three children, I too wanted so desperately to be apart of love's holiday. But it was when I discovered that the love I so wanted, I hadn't given it to myself.

And so it is with many women I meet today. I've seen and talked to women who have created and manifested businesses that not only generated great lively hoods for them, but has given hundreds  of others lively hoods. Yet, these women still feel bad about themselves.

I've seen women in the caring and healing professions, teachers, ministers, doctors who save lives and life coaches, who help direct people's journey, go home and tell themselves terrible things and feel unworthy and unlovable.

I talk to women and as I look deep within their eyes into their souls and I see so much pain.  They are not aware of their own beauty, their magic, their sparkle, their vitality and their spirit. Let's face it. We all have been these women and for many of us, we still are.

It's in our alone space, or on days like today, we begin to ask the question--"what's wrong with me?"

The answer to that question is not about what's going on outside of you, but what is going within you. Your spirit is just a little tilted...because many of you don't know how to authentically love yourselves.

You create lovely homes for your families, take care of your children, and get up every morning feeling like "I'm not good enough and I'm not lovable." This becomes the root of every imbalance you suffer.

Many women believe that if they can get organized enough or create more balance in their lives -- that this will fix the anxiety that they are feeling. That's because you are under the illusion that something outside of you is going to make you feel whole. But only true authentic self love can do that for you.

It is time that we begin to heal from that injury of self-rejection that was inflicted upon us. It's the injury that all of us encountered somewhere along the way. By someone else who no doubt was also injured. In many cases by someone who has long gone out of our lives.

It's time that you come into a deep appreciation for the wonder, the magnificence of who you are and know that it's not based on what you do, but by virtue of your very existence.

So today is not just about celebrating love for someone else. It really can be also about healing and recovery. It's about taking the your next step towards an act of incredible self love and compassion.

Just as you look into a baby's eyes and see a precious, magnificent work of art...a divine miracle. Today,  I want to encourage you to  look yourself in the mirror and see the same magnificence, divine miracle. Because the miracle didn't change, she just grew up and got a little larger.  The magnificence didn't go away. As you look in the mirror, say to yourself, "I LOVE YOU!" That my sister , is what real love looks like.

And Remember, Live Authentically, Laugh Everyday and Embrace Love as a Lifestyle.

Does It Have to Be Perfect?

I wanted so much for him to love me...my ex-husband, that's who.  I thought he would love me and protect me forever. But he broke my heart into little pieces and I wondered if I would ever heal.

Does that story sound familiar? I think we've all experienced heart break whether we are a fatherless daughter or not. But for most of us fatherless daughters, our heart breaks runs deeper because it comes from a deeper space within us. It's a familiar space. A space that we've held waiting for daddy to someday come and tell us how much he loves us, how much he adores us and how special we really are to him. But for most of us that day will never come and we've tried hard as we could to get that longing and desperate need met through the men we chose to love.

And when that doesn't happen, we are left in a dark, desolate place of despair. "Will I ever find true love?"...becomes our daily mantra. Then for many of us, we thrust ourselves in our careers. We become driven, independent super women. Thinking that we can somehow we can fill that empty space with our houses, cars, designer clothes and bank accounts. Yet, we end up in lots of debt, many of us living above our means and stressed out. Because the feeling of stress and chaos is normal to our subconscious mind, because we haven't done the necessary work to clear those sabotaging thoughts that creates invisible barriers around out lives.

Then one day your beloved walks into your life. "This is it," you tell yourself. It's a romance that should be written in a novel. But  he soon does something that sends you into a tail spin. "Here we go again," you say to yourself. But is it really what you think? 

Because as a fatherless daughter, you are never satisfied. It doesn't matter who it is, if he's not perfect, it will not work. He can do ten things right and one thing wrong and you are ready to jump ship. Because we fatherless daughters can never be satisfied. Ha, ha, I can hear my ex-husband saying the very same words to me. At the time, I thought he was the crazy one when he would say, "I can never please you, you're always complaining about something."  Whew! And when I heard my children say similar things such as "Mom, what did I do now?", I knew I needed to change.

It wasn't until I began to understand that my fatherless daughter syndrome was destroying my life and realize that if  I didn't get a handle on it, I was going to be lonely, broke and unhappy for a long time, that I began to change.

As you read this story, does any of this resonate within you? Many of us think that our failures are our inability to sustain relationships, handle money, loose weight or something else, but if we are to look a little closer, we will see that it's really something deeper!!

Let us hear from you, what did you think about this article?